Its time for a new game

Hey, sorry for not writing more, im busy i guess, so what did i learn in the meantime… I dont want to do certain stuff now, this tech thing is the ultimate level of procrastination i guess, from youtube channels pretending to know stuff and selling useless courses, to people actually having done the work and sounding prolific, theres a big gap, and i realized, maybe im not so far ahead, but im also not down the drain, looking back, I guess I shouldnt say that, fake it till you make is no good advice kids, get it in your head!!!

Allright, what did I learn, I read a couple of journal entries by the guy who made the original prince of persia, he did this amazing animation technique where you use a photograph as refference and make detailed 2d animation that way, come to think, this guy made a game i really played on my gameboy, but it was emulated, so it wasnt the gameboy version of karateka, but it was the original colorful karateka, but on a GBA, dont pirate kids, it was a present from my dad, dont judge!

Its a new semester, new me, I guess, why am I overworked why am I pushing, why oh why, why is this all just a big push of procrastination… maybe, why am I enrolled in a university class where im going to make a game with others, why? why am i going through the pains of building a team, why oh why, this is hell, im cooking and i should do more, but then there are guys who realized they dont have to push themselves, etc. man i dont know if we are all idiots or what?

My head doesnt know left from right, i have missed a meeting… thankfully they havent been to pissed off, since it wasnt dependend on me… and theres no time, no time, im not comfortable, is it even worth it to feel comfortable, when you arent comfortable? Serious question!!! Is it though… what is the point of that, yeah, let me singlehandedly break my back… pushing on my lungs, making me even more uncomfortable… stay calm, you are not actually dying… you are just crushed… how do you feel…

Tomorrows a special day… getting to know the people you will be working with, the people that will tear your guts, they people that will hold you, carry you and drive you mad and crazy and push you to do better, all the meanwhile they think the same of you, welcome to group work… shit… why, this is the level of procrastination im not used to, why did I sign up for life and why did i say yess, yess to everything… let them load of the work they have planned for you and the one you expect, talking to people selling scripts now, no yeah, university scripts… do i look like an actor to you???

Good quote: Dont sass me! Another one: Are the scissors in your house broken, son? Anyways… i will let my hair grow out again… why? I prooved I can take care of myself… what is the point to live, if everything is solved by simple actions, anybody could have tolled you? Thats something so elemental to everything… we all are on the same steps, we just fail to see it… people, oh I say people, I mean systems, systems tell you who is different, and why you need the system, because the system protects you from the differences, the adversity in life, the waves that are crashing from the outside, waiting to flood the room…

Back to the who made Prince of Persia… that man, that young man, went through Yale… yeah, I read a couple of pages and now im talking about it… I think this is how this works… anyways, this is not youtube… not even people in university are that critical… another one, anyways… I saw some similarities between him and me… or not so much… his university carreer didnt give him the confidence he could have needed to feel comfortable while developing, yet he still prevailed… i cant even imagine… he made karateka before prince of persia… what im saying is, im shit… or i have parents who care about me having a job… I cant be having gaps in my curricullum vitae… and i like that, what if my parents were easy on me… thats no good, support yess, but think about tough questions, age appropriate, discourse is important… etc. ok next!

I am thinking about doing something in LÖVE2D, i prepared something ahead, thats nice to say, I actually worked on something crappy where i learned something… whatever… i have pygame installed too X) whaaatever… but i just made some graphics for the creative menu… no plans just making… im thinking that i will just come up with something… lets see where this is going… back to ground zero, i guess… but that thing in LÖVE2D is just procrastination… i know… i have a golang framework downloaded, i want to use it, golang is a cool language… and its plattform independent… so yeah… i wont go back to java though and relearn and improve my knowledge in that… I would rather make something in MonoGame, programming in C# that is… it works, i have MonoDevelop, two versions… these open source people… they are tireless, less tired than before work… anyways… im going to sleep! need a good day tommorrow! god doesnt play dice, but i still hope they fall in my favour… have a good one!


Something to talk about…

So there were some things that happened or that changed rather, in the time between this article and the last one, mainly that I will now focus more on typing speed and training that in order to be more efficiant, I wont use the spell checker though, just care about getting this out there, but I also dont have the need to externalise anything or something of that matter in this article.

No, this time its a little different, as I notice my typing has significantly improved, maybe should try to practice with english words as well, since that online typing challenge was only with german words, but oh, I can tell an instant improvement, now its just about getting the fluidity down to a tee!

On that note though, I have to admit that stenography is something I really hated in school, yeah no shit, who probably didnt, but I have to be honest, having a typing game thats challenging can really activate my brain, its nuts!

Its also low effort to start up and really fun, I should have sourced out these typing games more often way back… I guess I will have the chance to catch up now! I honestly never thought about the limiting factor in your abillity to code being the speed of your typing… but honestly, it might really put you ahead in comparrisson to others.

Allright enough of that, speaking of coding, after I failed in telling you about my misshappenings in gamedev, mainly the reason I am writing this blog anyway… I will now proceed in telling you a successfull moment I had just recently, and maybe something different as well.

I am currently trying to finish that shooter prototype that i have on, I am planning to submit the finished work with buttler and I hope that works since I did not use buttler from the start… we will just have to see how this will pan out, but back to the project (, at the current state of it on itch, it will just open a window and you have a spaceship that looks like a purple beatle and you can controll it with wasd and space should shoot, if not than that only works with my version, I dont know anymore how “far” I have come.

What has changed in the version that hasnt been uploaded yet is that I have figured out how to display severall sprites of one thing, I am using structs as opposed to objects to have multiple entities of a “thing” on the screen, its basicly 200 lines of code if that sparks your imagination, the whole programm that is, since I use SFML (, not my work, which is a folder that contains all matter of different classes that help with media, etc. At least thats the C++ version, or language binding as they call it.

You can shoot neon circle bullets, they are graphical primitives that sfml allows me to display on the screen, that was the first way I figured out how to simulate a lot of things going on, in the screen, now the ship is a little big, i may zoom out at some point in the game just to make it feel differently, especially because sfml allows me to do so, but still, if I really would want to make it proper with a smooth zoom in and out it would take longer, so I have to think about that, but still, its probably just a number that will raise slowly throughout the gameloop repeating itself, so it might be wise to store min/max values of that.

Oh yeah I tolled you I figured out how to display severall “entities”. Well, I have my structs and they store an array, an array of numbers and sprites, thats it, they are all sorted and numbered, if you use the same value for each struct variable, I just need to circle through to access the data, its actually not that taxing to have 150 sprites storred as a list or array, whatever its actually called. I allready displayed them as well, no difference in start up time, at least I did not notice any, had to figure out random numbers for that! hehe LOL, why didnt I think of this earlier, oh well, I checked out some of the ludum dare speaches and there was a greek women who suggested using random numbers, that really spead things up, yet they still just stand there, the enemy ships that is, so I better figure out how to make them move in a predictable fashion based on the random x/y values they had assigned to them, offcourse I thought of capping the values of x and y at the screen width and height, it looks like an overlapping armada of “airships” on the screen. Worked like a charm, now I just have to let them get shot, dissapear, play the explosion animation I have for them, and they can, as a next step move around freely and pose as difficult targets to be hit for the player.

Can you believe it, we are actually, finally talking about something related to gamedev on here, how long did it take? A couple job interviews, a couple of bad semesters, etc. but I am not here to just do my job, I want to do this… fully to be frank, I will finish university, no matter how long it takes, I will find a job, I will take courses(not uni related) to distinguish myself on the market place and to more easily find a job, I will try to be a small business owner, publish mobile apps, as well as games, will just try to figure it out, I want to try out making small programming tutorials on youtube… that will sure be fun. But a year only has so much time left… and we will see if and how everything is going to work out!

The maingoal is definately to become a rolling stone so to speak, no not that kind of Rolling Stone, I mean if I ever have some form of roadblock or setback, that I tell myself I have too much to do to ever fall in a hole!


So the semester is kinda up…

Hey, its me, after a long, long time! I should write more, this keeps me calm, when I started I realised that writing a blog is something I do for my sanity. Lesson learned, if you keep a certain activity under a certain threshhold for your brain to handle, and that activity is requiring you to put a thought into process, nothing is impossible, thanks Shia, for putting those words into a sentence. One of my short comings is to never see what smart thing I did, but I wanted it that way, so I can live with the consequences of that, maybe you DONT have to go out of your way to achieve the state of learning, what is learning really, yes, preparation towards something is a completely seperate thing, but the actuall act of learning… is it information retention in the brain? Is it recitation, is it understanding and memorizing? Is it really just understanding? Cant be the latter… that would be nice! Why do I talk like that, is it just because a goal put everything into perspective and I choose to make those words form a sentence on their own… or is it just that I want to swing everything away that keeps my feet locked into place… to keep a healthy brain.

Anyways… back to failing as a gamedev, I tried to compete in a gamejam again, but to no success, but I realised I have to figure out sound in this neat framework, SFML. Probably just need to put the sound object into a thread and, tadaa! Magicly, sound plays and stops when I need it to… SFML, really makes it easy to interact with Threads, maybe that is the way to interact with them, create a class that inherits from the intrinsic class of your language of choice, allthough that depends on the implementation of it, back in the day Java had the interface Runnable that did that… maybe thats still around… but IDEs are crap now… what else changed… so much in just these couple minutes…

I am currently forcing my laptop to update to 19.10 its running hot!!! And this could take some time, meanwhile mysql is still broken, but hopefully the recepy I found should do the trick and I can reinstall fresh, shooooo! That would fix nothing because I dont use sql at all, other than for school, so it would fix something! Aha, the great magic of insight… would you believe I am dead ass sitting in my room typing this… you best not think that actually giving out good mood means you should really waste yours on a wall of text, let alone people, dance when nobody, other than the NSA is watching! You are welcome!

I will still try to attend a test! That will be fun, yeah practice was kind of mandatory, you still want to do the test? You’ll probably get an F anyway, what? Thats besides the point! You just want to keep face in front of your parents, fair enough… I never heard that, thats a riddiculous reason…

ooh the gutshot, how will you recover? whats the plan hotshot? your room is cooking you by the minute, your hungry as well… whats the deal? You never grinded your gums on hot concrete? and all because of your laptop manufacturer and its inabillity to ensure part integrity, how is it possible to have it stated in the updates that amd64 is updated when in the UI it clearly states that you have intel parts? You maybe pushed for this dilemma with your user behaviour… you know what never mind… theres actually something else going on… did not mean to keep you in the dark, but I kinda did…

I am getting something, you want something too? smh, offcourse I am getting you something too, dont be a fool!

Some salty sticks wont solve the hungre… oh the do? I hope you get miners lungs!


Anyways, actually actually stuff thats going on… the update is still going… what the heck, this time its 19.10 for real… my health is going up again, thats good. I cant wait for the summer, to sit in my room again and finally make some videogames… I think this time I am in full capabillity to explore and do so calmly… not like the text above. My bad, hit the wrong mood… I have had pc configuration stored in a text file on my laptop, and realised today that I fucked up major league baseball if you catch my formula drift… anyways my jokes are good allright, I am not a failure, but this is my misshappenings in gamedev… and the major thing isnt happening… I am sorry if you came for a text that swings life away… maybe on a different day… hope still that the calm you looked for shined through… flatten out a bit, imagine your inner being as a plane and flatten it… this helps me relaxe sometimes, imagine yourself and the shape that you are, talking about shapes like squares etc. when I first read someone talk about this and take it down the eso route I was like not with me you witch! It was a post not directed to me, I cant say that, still I was apaled… but anyways everything can work if you make it yours, so calm down at every crutial step and take the waves as they come and go… sometimes you put in the work, and sometimes you dont, enjoy the spunk as long as it lasts… before it gets disgusting again… muaahhhaahahaha… dont be afraid to just do something. I dont mean in front of people, dont put yourself out there like that, have some class and put yourself together, no, I mean, when you are alone, or when you are working on something important for you, this is the chance you can listen to yourself, take it!


Hey! Something a little long and deep today!

There was this post in a facebook group for indie game devs, and it was a two part question a long the lines off, why did you start making games, and why did you stay? And heres what I wrote 1:1 😀 enjoy!

I like learning these technologies, I switch between them, when I first started out, I used game maker, I allways tried to follow the first tutorial, and got frustrated, waited a couple weeks, had to start again, this cycle continued for a while, with longer pauses, I got into programming those lego robots, but not with the GUI, with real code, i was very young at the time, still no game, but I figured out what I need to code… It was like those skiing school trips all over again, I was not comfortable to ride with the big guns, but I was competent for the lower tears… and then there came a long pause…

I still attempt stuff… but I guess I get comfortable with each try! What I was trying to write was… when I started out there were two notions, make one big project over and over again, or just work on it, or smaller projects that really never go anywhere but you had some fun and you finished something… neither of those worked for me…

I just happened to finish something last year and its small, done with GDevelop, I got frustrated because I wanted to work on it longer, but than I just set it to done, because I got fed up with it, GDevelop uses visual scripts, if you ask me why I keep being interested, keep being hungry, its because I just want to, its the one thing that will consume my whole life, at reasonable rates, fortunately I learned that, I am not even asking myself the question, theres no turning back ever… I may take a pause, but yeah allways there… I wanted to be reminded that there is gamedev…

I needed to remind myself that when the computer is shut of gamedev is still there… For god sakes I had the Game Maker Manual printed out in fat times new roman and orange font color, not joking! I can remember drawing the old game maker logo, I was probably turning an old notebook for school into a game making notebook, just if an idea strikes, I allways hoped for it to happen, I see people posting sub par projects in their thirties and I am pumped for the future! I am 22 now, turning 23 in March this year! Just imagine what I am able to do when I dont have to worry about university and I can settle and my family thinks I am stablelized!

Sure I am going to make myself comfortable and will look out for myself if I can, but am I still attempting games, or even allready just churning them out? Hell yeah! I could never just set out to attempt a specific project, because in the early days they allways wrote in the forums, you better not bite more off than you can chew, thats a bad sign, you are not mature enough!!!! It stopped me in my tracks! I just could not get over that hump of who cares, allright? Just try, its your computer, you are not advanced enough anyways to break it! Why bother? But I was also young and foolish, I still am foolish and fairly young! Nothing has changed, I really thought hard, what do you want to do when you grow up my parents asked, because it kept changing, and I was again still pretty young…

so I hopped on the web and came back with this! Its a hard road, I was the frustrated hermit, who did not get anymore excercise and turned chubby quickly, got funny looks by my sister, people dont get it, when you just try to achieve one little thing and it takes you ages! You try to explain that you dont play, well you kinda are, but just your craptastic little square and your craptastic controlls, and suddenly somebody says get outside and this and that! Everytime I thought I had a weekend for myself something interrupted me, but it was fine, everything is fine, my parents only really asked me a couple days ago if I REALLLY WANT TO DO THIS GAME DEV THING… not their words, because it was in german and my mom asked, it was very serious in tone, meaning when you really get to be taken serious by your parents, because I applied for a HR office intern position at a local gamecompany… I am currently in University and it was a mixed bag, I learned something, cant put my finger on it though… the position will be for the duration of me being a university student, so it will probably finance my further semesters beyond the usuall time, untill I give up or I am done with it 😉 I just will try so many times on my own! You know that should have been my motivational paper submitted to this university course! I never learn enough, but its fine, its all fine, I learned that too… if you read untill here, you are fine, and to the owner of the post, you are going to be fine.

______________ the post ends here!_______________________

“You never learn!” something teachers like to tell you, but is stupid to the core and not true!

You have a nice rest of the week!



Whats coming up…

I am really thinking about making a short retrospect of the development of CED.

You can check that out here. Its a really unfair arcade webgame, one play one add, or quarter… I know I am money hungry!

Anyways, when there is some time, I will get to it!

Thanks for coming by! See ya!



I just read my last article and I am wondering, why I come of as such a cool cat. Believe me, I am not. The internet has a really weary effect where people experience other people in this consistent mood thats just there, because some form of perfection is in all off us. Or better an aspiration to do better.

As I said, the guy who wrote the last one is the same writing this one. I recently had a real appiphany, assuming that nobody touched my safefile of true swing golf, which I dont believe to be true, because I let my younger cousin play in the past, and I dont believe the guy was such a cool cat again, I am off the fence when it comes to me being awesome… why? Well tooting your own horn is bad. Especially to yourself. Back to the Nintendo DS game, great system BTW! still going strong! But I must have been so comfy with being a brown turd, you know, and as much as I call out people on their bullshit, I still have my own too! I really do! And heres the kicker, I surround myself with people that really like that about me! How lucky is that??? But I just realized that the kid I was in the past was one that was really comfortable being the token brown kid, allthough I dont have an accent and thats NOT something special, dont feel special when you can speek the language spoken in the region you grew up in! STOOP! I got to know so many people where a parent or the parents are not from where I live. They still manage, yes, language is identity, yes my fathers language is important too, and it has been neglected. But I know, me and my dad, when we are close, we hit it off with language. And it gets better the more we are in the right environment and thats just something between the two of us! And thats worth the world over! Anyways, I noticed somebody checking out the site regularly! There you go! My mom is the women that takes care for me, I love making her laugh when she is mad at me. Its the moment I truely live! I love making people laugh. But it just works with my parents, because I get something out of that! LOVE! PEACE! KINDNESS! UNDERSTANDING!


Oh boy people!

Looking back at 2018 already, it seems like the end of the year is approaching faster than ever, christmas already creeping up. In a way, I am where I was, but that is not true. There is now more of a cloud, and thats right now not a bad thing. I am making a mistake by not posting regularly, but at the same time, why should I cater to anything, why should I act like I have infinite energy. Thats not the direction I want to take, but anyways, some analytics!

In 2018 this site had 83 visitors! That is really crazy, especially when I am kind of tumbleing through uni, but its fine because this is the EU! So I am still waisting money, but its at least not that expensive!

But anyways, anyone have ideas?

Seriously though, not really in retrospect, my twitter has 200 followers just from retweeting and following people… excessively! Forgot that! Energy pays in interest on social, but still thats pretty cool considering this guy did not do anything special!

I have some ideas, also I now know the difference between freeware and shareware software. Shareware has restricted access to its features while freeware will allways remain free! And thats when I had an idea, since I want to get into pygame, I want to make freeware titles with that framework, and handout a readme, with it, in it I will share a link to the mailchimp stuff I created a while back. Sounds like a good idea, but I still need to build up a backlog of code that I want to use, which means making some game, frankenstein it and make another one! If I keep a good rythm and release these, I think thats a good strategy to gain traction, also it makes me more creative!

Plus, I regret putting off just making games for a goof in the past! Its something I should have done more often, oh well, that does not mean I am not going to make something that is not worth at least looking at in the future.

About the little game I posted on Gamejolt, well I really want to finish it, thats why I am just hanging around, doing nothing… I am exhausted, for no reason! Stop looking at people and thinking that the one thing you know them for is the only thing they are doing, thats the mind of a lazy person right there!

In my oppinion it does not matter if you have done MORE work than the other person, you can allways hack your own productivity, where no one can call you out on your repetition! Thats not working hard, yeah I am making it hard on myself, so what? There are two different perspectives clashing here anyways, so there is no argument to be had here that has not been there yet! I mean it differently, and thats why I will at least make ‘something’ out of myself!

Advocate different perspectives everywhere you go, it furthers understanding between us! And more of ‘us’ is important! There is no way in the world that I will respect someone who has not been hit by at least a little adversity! Yes, we all have our problems and we all had our saviours, those people who did not see our weaknesses, but our strengths and did not judge us for them!