I really like this way of sorting out my thoughts, I really came to the conclusion that I am way to synical about stuff, which means I should probably get off the internet for a while. At the same time, I have been taking a pause from shit in generall, taking more time for myself. Very egotistic, I know, but at the same time the amount of neural flexibility I feel is very good. Everything became really stale in my brain, I was very focused on things that needed to be done. People around me do forgive me kinda doing nothing and its fine, gotta continue the studying. That makes a lot of sense for my future and wellbeing 😉 unbelievable! Just writing a blog helped me get over some feeling I had. When you are afraid to touch anything and just really overthink the whole thing. Its weird what opportunity and the internet and your motivations can do to your brain. I felt really old in the past, but now I seem to regain some youth, sounds really stupid. But at the same time I am stressing myself out, why is this not happening, why havent we made progress here, me and my brain you see… I am not crazy 😐 why this hasnt happened, why that? Its riddicoulus! Oh man, I am very sure there are a lot of spelling errors allready. Anyways, this is very nice, maybe when people wish for more honest, good and healthy relationships in their lifes, all they need is to write a blog. Maybe thats why my sister had a diary… weird thing. I never got why she had it, secrets freak me out! Thats also why I think open source is not bad for learning stuff that is required in the real world. To learn the tried and true things needed to succeed a project, thats what I meant to convey. My god, I put just a little pressure on myself for not doing stuff and then all I need is a little dosis of production of something that hopefully will provide some kind of value. Understanding people and understanding myself I think people need to hear that they are not alone and that there are people maybe thinking the same way. Good for me, that WordPress shows the date of my blog entries. Being correct in general is something I really like, thats why I am probably feeling fullfilled right now because I actually did something today, nevermind! I guess my first post was very synical. At least I got the impression after reading through it. I am very sorry for that and it was never ment to be that way. It is very simple to get into a rudd once in a while. People also dont seem to care when they are in one. I distance myself too when that happends and I can see it in others. I guess those were the dangers they were talking about when referring to social media. Changing the chemical structure of the brain can be very dangerous they said, nobody should have such power they said, yet politics deal in emotions. Well offcourse, they are the ones in power. Its just really awfull that this power never was used to truly unite all people. When was the last time you heard that a person of your social life inclined to protect the environment, saving animals and defend human rights was talking to a friend of yours who enjoys consumption of electronics, buying the newest, throwing the oldest away, embracing the current throw away culture? Those two are probably not talking anymore to each other. I have made rash decisions myself on these things, but it just does not make any sense now! Its foolish, in the end it should not matter, you should be content. With all the decisions in your life, wether you want to live life on your own terms, or decide on helping out someone else with his or her aspirations, you should be happy. I can see people say, that this is not new, nore original (nore productive, but some people need a little convincing to do the rest). True, but that also means it just has not been said enough, when there is still some resentment towards these ideas.