Hey! Something a little long and deep today!

There was this post in a facebook group for indie game devs, and it was a two part question a long the lines off, why did you start making games, and why did you stay? And heres what I wrote 1:1 😀 enjoy!

I like learning these technologies, I switch between them, when I first started out, I used game maker, I allways tried to follow the first tutorial, and got frustrated, waited a couple weeks, had to start again, this cycle continued for a while, with longer pauses, I got into programming those lego robots, but not with the GUI, with real code, i was very young at the time, still no game, but I figured out what I need to code… It was like those skiing school trips all over again, I was not comfortable to ride with the big guns, but I was competent for the lower tears… and then there came a long pause…

I still attempt stuff… but I guess I get comfortable with each try! What I was trying to write was… when I started out there were two notions, make one big project over and over again, or just work on it, or smaller projects that really never go anywhere but you had some fun and you finished something… neither of those worked for me…

I just happened to finish something last year and its small, done with GDevelop, I got frustrated because I wanted to work on it longer, but than I just set it to done, because I got fed up with it, GDevelop uses visual scripts, if you ask me why I keep being interested, keep being hungry, its because I just want to, its the one thing that will consume my whole life, at reasonable rates, fortunately I learned that, I am not even asking myself the question, theres no turning back ever… I may take a pause, but yeah allways there… I wanted to be reminded that there is gamedev…

I needed to remind myself that when the computer is shut of gamedev is still there… For god sakes I had the Game Maker Manual printed out in fat times new roman and orange font color, not joking! I can remember drawing the old game maker logo, I was probably turning an old notebook for school into a game making notebook, just if an idea strikes, I allways hoped for it to happen, I see people posting sub par projects in their thirties and I am pumped for the future! I am 22 now, turning 23 in March this year! Just imagine what I am able to do when I dont have to worry about university and I can settle and my family thinks I am stablelized!

Sure I am going to make myself comfortable and will look out for myself if I can, but am I still attempting games, or even allready just churning them out? Hell yeah! I could never just set out to attempt a specific project, because in the early days they allways wrote in the forums, you better not bite more off than you can chew, thats a bad sign, you are not mature enough!!!! It stopped me in my tracks! I just could not get over that hump of who cares, allright? Just try, its your computer, you are not advanced enough anyways to break it! Why bother? But I was also young and foolish, I still am foolish and fairly young! Nothing has changed, I really thought hard, what do you want to do when you grow up my parents asked, because it kept changing, and I was again still pretty young…

so I hopped on the web and came back with this! Its a hard road, I was the frustrated hermit, who did not get anymore excercise and turned chubby quickly, got funny looks by my sister, people dont get it, when you just try to achieve one little thing and it takes you ages! You try to explain that you dont play, well you kinda are, but just your craptastic little square and your craptastic controlls, and suddenly somebody says get outside and this and that! Everytime I thought I had a weekend for myself something interrupted me, but it was fine, everything is fine, my parents only really asked me a couple days ago if I REALLLY WANT TO DO THIS GAME DEV THING… not their words, because it was in german and my mom asked, it was very serious in tone, meaning when you really get to be taken serious by your parents, because I applied for a HR office intern position at a local gamecompany… I am currently in University and it was a mixed bag, I learned something, cant put my finger on it though… the position will be for the duration of me being a university student, so it will probably finance my further semesters beyond the usuall time, untill I give up or I am done with it 😉 I just will try so many times on my own! You know that should have been my motivational paper submitted to this university course! I never learn enough, but its fine, its all fine, I learned that too… if you read untill here, you are fine, and to the owner of the post, you are going to be fine.

______________ the post ends here!_______________________

“You never learn!” something teachers like to tell you, but is stupid to the core and not true!

You have a nice rest of the week!



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