So the semester is kinda up…

Hey, its me, after a long, long time! I should write more, this keeps me calm, when I started I realised that writing a blog is something I do for my sanity. Lesson learned, if you keep a certain activity under a certain threshhold for your brain to handle, and that activity is requiring you to put a thought into process, nothing is impossible, thanks Shia, for putting those words into a sentence. One of my short comings is to never see what smart thing I did, but I wanted it that way, so I can live with the consequences of that, maybe you DONT have to go out of your way to achieve the state of learning, what is learning really, yes, preparation towards something is a completely seperate thing, but the actuall act of learning… is it information retention in the brain? Is it recitation, is it understanding and memorizing? Is it really just understanding? Cant be the latter… that would be nice! Why do I talk like that, is it just because a goal put everything into perspective and I choose to make those words form a sentence on their own… or is it just that I want to swing everything away that keeps my feet locked into place… to keep a healthy brain.

Anyways… back to failing as a gamedev, I tried to compete in a gamejam again, but to no success, but I realised I have to figure out sound in this neat framework, SFML. Probably just need to put the sound object into a thread and, tadaa! Magicly, sound plays and stops when I need it to… SFML, really makes it easy to interact with Threads, maybe that is the way to interact with them, create a class that inherits from the intrinsic class of your language of choice, allthough that depends on the implementation of it, back in the day Java had the interface Runnable that did that… maybe thats still around… but IDEs are crap now… what else changed… so much in just these couple minutes…

I am currently forcing my laptop to update to 19.10 its running hot!!! And this could take some time, meanwhile mysql is still broken, but hopefully the recepy I found should do the trick and I can reinstall fresh, shooooo! That would fix nothing because I dont use sql at all, other than for school, so it would fix something! Aha, the great magic of insight… would you believe I am dead ass sitting in my room typing this… you best not think that actually giving out good mood means you should really waste yours on a wall of text, let alone people, dance when nobody, other than the NSA is watching! You are welcome!

I will still try to attend a test! That will be fun, yeah practice was kind of mandatory, you still want to do the test? You’ll probably get an F anyway, what? Thats besides the point! You just want to keep face in front of your parents, fair enough… I never heard that, thats a riddiculous reason…

ooh the gutshot, how will you recover? whats the plan hotshot? your room is cooking you by the minute, your hungry as well… whats the deal? You never grinded your gums on hot concrete? and all because of your laptop manufacturer and its inabillity to ensure part integrity, how is it possible to have it stated in the updates that amd64 is updated when in the UI it clearly states that you have intel parts? You maybe pushed for this dilemma with your user behaviour… you know what never mind… theres actually something else going on… did not mean to keep you in the dark, but I kinda did…

I am getting something, you want something too? smh, offcourse I am getting you something too, dont be a fool!

Some salty sticks wont solve the hungre… oh the do? I hope you get miners lungs!

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Anyways, actually actually stuff thats going on… the update is still going… what the heck, this time its 19.10 for real… my health is going up again, thats good. I cant wait for the summer, to sit in my room again and finally make some videogames… I think this time I am in full capabillity to explore and do so calmly… not like the text above. My bad, hit the wrong mood… I have had pc configuration stored in a text file on my laptop, and realised today that I fucked up major league baseball if you catch my formula drift… anyways my jokes are good allright, I am not a failure, but this is my misshappenings in gamedev… and the major thing isnt happening… I am sorry if you came for a text that swings life away… maybe on a different day… hope still that the calm you looked for shined through… flatten out a bit, imagine your inner being as a plane and flatten it… this helps me relaxe sometimes, imagine yourself and the shape that you are, talking about shapes like squares etc. when I first read someone talk about this and take it down the eso route I was like not with me you witch! It was a post not directed to me, I cant say that, still I was apaled… but anyways everything can work if you make it yours, so calm down at every crutial step and take the waves as they come and go… sometimes you put in the work, and sometimes you dont, enjoy the spunk as long as it lasts… before it gets disgusting again… muaahhhaahahaha… dont be afraid to just do something. I dont mean in front of people, dont put yourself out there like that, have some class and put yourself together, no, I mean, when you are alone, or when you are working on something important for you, this is the chance you can listen to yourself, take it!

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